Change Changing Changes...~

Resilience is the quality that allows us to enter each new day with the optimism, confidence and energy to adapt to, influence and embrace the change that is inevitable.

Fearing change is natural for most of us. Yet what most of us are truly fearful of is the lack of security, stability, and control that we anticipate change will bring. But the alternative to change, or “sameness,” reminds me of the great quote by General Eric Shinseki: “If you don’t like change, you’ll like irrelevance even less.”

Try not to think about change too much and instead think about what improvements you can effect today under the conditions and the always-shifting sands of your life. If we focus on making things better, not on what’s different, then we become the dance, not the dancer...~

things change... we change

What Alice Forgot... by Liane Moriarty

I've recently read What Alice Forgot from the author Liane Moriarty. It's the kind of book that sticks with you, makes you ponder and begs to be discussed. So, let's do that!



Within the first 20 pages, What Alice Forgot pulled me in. I longed for Alice to get her memory back and figure out what happened to her marriage, her life. I wanted her to put the pieces back together and discover something that would make everything make sense again. I wanted her to figure out how her once playful and happy marriage ended up in complete disarray.

It kept me intrigued and guessing, though I never felt like my mind fully went down the path the author was leading me down with her clues. I was never completely shocked when some of the "big reveals" came to light... however......  


sometimes we could be so much more than who we are, who we’ve become…~

this book will most definitely be on my mind for the next couple of weeks. A question we've all been asked "Where Do You See Yourself In 5 Years"? but then lets complicate it a little and remove the last 10 Years of your life, completely wiped out, forgotten, never happened. Who are you, who would you be.......


I conclude.... Life Changes Us...~

Share Your Beautiful Smile…~

The other day, while I was queuing at a supermarket, I smiled at an adorable toddler standing with her father a few steps in front of me.

She had this huge grin on her face, and she actually waved at me from two feet away, so I couldn’t help but smile in return.

Just then, she pulled on her father’s leg and giggled the words, “Why does everyone like me?”

He responded, “Because you’re a beautiful little girl!”

It was a simple, heartwarming moment, because I could tell from her bashful yet proud expression that she internalized and believed this, as I wish all children could.

I wondered if strangers frequently smiled at her because of her cheery cherubic face, leading her to conclude that everyone likes her.

And I hoped she’d hold onto that simple conclusion forever, so she’d never doubt her inner light, and as a consequence, shine it often.

For many kids, confidence and joy come so easily. They have an innocence about them—a sense of possibility and wonder. They don’t dwell on what happened yesterday. They don’t obsess over what’s coming tomorrow and worry that they can’t handle it.

And they haven’t yet learned to question themselves, not like we do as adults.

I wonder what it would look like to recapture that self-belief and joy. Kids make it look so simple.

Maybe that’s the point. Maybe we could feel that same sense of self-assurance and presence if we stopped burying ourselves under the layers of everything that’s happened, and chose instead to simply be in the moment.

Maybe we could believe in ourselves more fully if we also looked for signs to confirm our worth and beauty; if we chose to recognize people smiling at us, believing in us, confiding in us, depending on us.


this feeling...~

Maybe we just need to step in where our parents may or may not have left off, and remind us ourselves as often as possible that we are beautiful—and the best way to show it is to smile…~ 

Living a positive life

Living a positive life’ is a thematically prominent topic online, a subject full of vague quips and vapid advice, typically in the form of recycled, overused quotes alongside what I can only describe as loose, laughable list of ideals to live happily, forever.

And you know what? It all spins me into nausea. I even once saw an article asserting that cleaning dishes after every meal instead of waiting for them to pile up was a sure way to live more positively. Or facials or smart shopping or travelling or waking up the crack of dawn or whatever else, everyone everywhere seems to be shoving their idea of ‘how to be happy’ down my throat and I am so tired of it. In fact, most days, I mutter ‘can you fuck off, please’ to almost everything I read.

Why is the internet so obsessed with happiness? Why do we as participants here on the worldwide web feel compelled to broadcast just how incredibly, amazingly happy we are all the time? And if we aren’t? There is a buzzfeed article or blog post with a list we can skim to make sure we too can be euphoric like everyone else seems to be. I am all for encouraging joy but that is defined personally and very intimately, an emotionally empty list is not the way to a positive life.

It just isn’t that easy, the good things in life are never a click away. And what makes one pretty blogger or some journalist happy might make you as a person, miserable.

Which brings me to another point I want to make, what about sadness? Why has this undeniable emotion been so shunned on the internet? We have forced it out and now it lies in the shadows of our lives, the parts we don’t share online.

Happiness and sadness are both beautiful components of life, one cannot exist without the other.

Carl Jung said, ‘The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness’.  

I say we should aim for fair and honest representations of both sentiments when we broadcast our lives across the internet. I want genuine oscillations between the two, that change with the day but are real in that they reflect how we as humans truly feel.

I’m tired of the online world pretending to be jumping for joy all the goddamn time. It just makes everyone else feel lonely, left out and inferior. And it is this internet error that prompted me to speak truthfully here, 2 years ago I made a pact to dig a little deeper and share the myriad of emotions I feel as I grow up and move around this earth.

Happiness so often is a fight in life and there is no strength to be found in some list to follow, just like there is no strength in pretending sadness doesn’t exist.

We struggle, we fall, we stumble, there are good times and there are bad times and yes, we should all aim for a positive life but not by bluffing and denying melancholy away.

One emotion cannot exist without the other, concealing one renders the other meaningless. 

OMG. so haunting and beautiful...tears. This is amazing!...~

If you are sad, say it and if you are happy, say that too. I promise your life will become richer if you express your entire spectrum of emotions.

This is why I write the way I do, I’m honest, I complain, sometimes I’m so sad I can barely see straight, but it narrows the distance between me and you. I want internet intimacy. Because ultimately, I know you feel all the ways I do. We all do. Love always #freespirit

missing something that’s never been…..

 
It is strange how many miles I’ve crossed just to end up on someone’s doorstep to say hello or goodbye…

I’m sorry, I’d say. I think I’ve always been sorry in one way or another. 

 

He’d turn on the lava lamp when I told him it was too bright. Quickly, he’d peel of his shirt and I’d think about how I wanted to loop my thumbs under his collarbones and knock my hips against his. His shoulder blades jutted out in odd angles when I pressed my palms into them. I felt his spine and traced it and wondered how many notches I could climb before I had to disappear into the night again.

A few weeks later, I got a phone call from someone else who told me about a dream he had. We were in a bathtub, we were finally alone, he sighed. Perhaps that’s what we wanted from our friendship, someone to be in solitude with. I could be lonely because no one would call me out if I said I was falling in love. I used it as a reason to bury it. An excuse, really. 

Maybe I’ve been doing that for longer than I thought. 

In the early morning light, I caught him breathing shallow. Everything was blue. I stretched my mind back to all the people I’ve been with, all the places I tried to use my apologies for not being quite what anyone needed. For not having what I needed myself. And I thought, for maybe the first time, how I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to mistake being with someone for accepting my loneliness because of the spaces between us. 

And that’s really terrifying.

 

I don’t understand how two people who believed in something so strongly can end up completely on the other side of it, how things can go sour despite my best intentions. That’s terrifying, to not miss you. To be wrong! To feel certain I made the right choice even when it hurt to say it aloud.

and now I am in the midst of something new and it feels so good, but I am terrified of it still. Trying not to run. Trying to stick around. Trying to be just because I can be, meditating and smoking marijuana and counting less days and miles. Hoping it’ll stay, hoping I will stay.

 

 

My mind is filled with the bravery behind saying anything aloud, the allure of nonfiction. How much can I spill, admit, share, face, explain, before I feel the brush of fear.

How far can I go before I start to wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into, all smitten and falling so soon.

 

reminiscing about something, remembrance and such…~

 

 

I keep forgetting to mention the part where I miss something that’s never been…

What is happiness?

Happiness is something that lies in the deepest parts of our bodies. It resides in all of us however not everyone acknowledges this. Some people live in a realm of negativity without once ever trying to escape. These people need to realize that if they look hard enough they will find happiness.

 

 

 

Contentment is finding the adventure in every moment and seeing the light at the end of every dark tunnel. In order to be happy you must be optimistic, realize that happiness is not a materialistic item (took me forever to realize this), and that it is a choice. Happiness isn’t something that someone can go out and purchase; a shop doesn’t sell contentment and never will. It is not something that only few have, it is something everyone has but not everyone recognizes.

 

Happiness is just as much perspective as life is, choose to be happy in order to be happy. Happiness as a choice is a very powerful thing. To be able to control emotions is a skill that we are all born with but some do not work on. We are able to detach from certain emotions and build on others. This is something that is needed in order to be happy. Work on it, dig deep to find it, and never give up.

 

Choosing to be happy is a great thing...~

 

Personally I believe that there truly is more and that happiness is really a choice and that it isn’t something that we just find. Never once have I ever thought that if you wanted to be happy all that needed to be done was to be happy. I always thought that if you wanted to be happy a formula had to be correct and everything had to be perfect. But, it’s so much simpler than that. Being content is just choosing to be. Making up your mind to be happy and being happy.

 

There are going to be a lot of obstacles in your way of being happy however anything worth our time is going to take effort. That is where the optimistic part comes in play. If you are willing to strive to be happy even though you may face some difficulties and as long as you are positive you will be happy.  Choose to be happy not because everyone else is doing it, but because it’s the best thing that there is to do. Although happiness is something that we all have we do not all choose to realize this. It isn’t something we can buy or go pick up.

 

 

What is happiness? It’s a choice that we all have the power to make...~

Unexpected intrusions of beauty.

Unexpected intrusions of beauty. This is what life is...~

Sometimes a change in the season around us is just what we need to prod us out of our own internal winters, to shake off the dust and darkness we’ve become accustomed to. I’ve been winter-y for a long time—wilted, discouraged, even a little isolated. I’m inviting the springtime around me into my own life…~

Xavier Rudd - Spirit Bird -  I find this song absolutely lovely.

Peace :-)

genuine and deep submission the heartfelt kind that comes from trust, respect, lust and mental and emotional connection...~